Josef Hader

"There’s always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't catch my breath again when I walk faster. Or I get a sweat outbreak. Then I freeze again. The food doesn't taste good anymore, the sex is boring, the pants are too tight. What is this, please? - It must all be this climate change, right? There are temperatures in summer like in the tropics! Suddenly there are these huge insects! They didn't use to exist! If they sting you, you get a swelling that doesn’t go away for months! Probably they are all genetically modified. And the plants! They are getting weird now too. They are acting crazy, the plants! They are all growing over everything! Since I haven't gone out of the house anymore. My theory is, the plants want to take back control of the planet. They are all connected underground through their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan.